So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Randomize
