I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
