Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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