I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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