Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
