this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you never un-have a 4some
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
