Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
