i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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