I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
