I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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