Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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