omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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