therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
