I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
