Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
