watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
