ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
