All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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