I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
her vagine was all disorganized.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
