Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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