1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
