Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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