did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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