Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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