My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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