I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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