ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
