Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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