At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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