The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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