i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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