Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
