didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
