Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
