Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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