he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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