I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
