I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
