you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize