I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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