When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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