I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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