There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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