There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
