Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
