If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
