Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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