Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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