I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
