I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You pole danced in your parka.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
