So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
