Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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