Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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