Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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