Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
