Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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