Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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